Sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy. In the middle of work, I always ask, what kind of trouble did I get into. Why do I like to pounder myself often? Why do I like thinking and not sleeping? Why do I like working far from home, family and friends? Why did I mess up my life like this?
I woke up in the middle of chaos. I found myself sleeping beside bags of relief goods in Iligan. Bag count says 2,400. We need 4,000 by 6AM. Time check 2:55AM. More bags to go. My brain isin’t working anymore. My body had bruises everywhere due to pounding day work – briefing volunteers in the morning, helping load the goods in the truck, unload, distribute, pass the goods to evacuation center recipients, teach good hygiene to evacuees, sing with the children, shout at the furious crowd that just won’t make a line, hear-out stories of survival and lost, explain why some families can’t receive goods, walk to the path of death and mud, evaluate volunteers and debrief, write reports, drink water, go back to the warehouse and help repack goods – then wake up in the middle of chaos.
I woke up in the middle of chaos. I found myself in a middle of the crowd furious to have a piece of balloon. everybody is going wild just to have a balloon. stepped on my foot, pulled down my arm, my back pushed, hand being pinched, my face shouted at mad mothers, crying children, panicked volunteers. My patience on low, I let go. … …
